Hey, I’m Kayla. I’m a product nerd. I test stuff, then I talk about it. And yes, I tried a sex-positive setup for couples with my own partner. We used a game and a book. We kept it real. We got awkward. We also got closer.
If you’re curious about how another couple approached the same toolkit, check out this detailed first-person review.
So, was it worth it? Short answer: mostly yes.
Here’s the thing—I’m sharing my lived take, with simple examples you can use tonight.
What I actually used (and paid for)
- “Where Should We Begin? A Game of Stories — Couples Edition”
- “Sex Talks” by Vanessa Marin (the one with the five talks)
If card decks are your jam, you might also love this deep dive into sex card games for bonus inspiration. We also queued up an episode of the On Attachment podcast on how to talk about sex with Vanessa and Xander Marin for extra phrasing tips.
I bought both with my own money. We used the game weekly, and the book as a light guide. No homework, no therapy couch vibes. Just us, snacks, and a pen.
How we set it up (small stuff that helped)
We made ground rules:
- Say “pause” if anything feels off.
- No fixing. Just listen first.
- Stop by the 60-minute mark. Then a hug. Always a hug.
We made it low-key: soft lamp, tea, a silly playlist. You know what? That helped more than I thought. For more ideas on cozying up your space, see how one reviewer turned their place into a safe, cozy home for intimacy.
Real life scenes (role-play style, but true)
Scene 1: The card that surprised me
Card prompt: “What makes you feel wanted?”
Me: “When you text me during the day. Like, ‘Can’t wait to see you.’ It turns down my stress.”
Him: “When you choose me—like you close your laptop at 8 p.m. on purpose. That makes me feel hot. Weird?”
Me: “Not weird. That’s love language stuff. That’s… pretty clear.”
We wrote “8 p.m. laptop shut” on a sticky note. Simple. Not spicy. But it changed our week.
Scene 2: The Yes / Maybe / No list (super clear, not graphic)
We used a page from the book to list ideas in three columns.
- Yes: slow starts, kissing more, warm shower together
- Maybe: trying a new spot in the house, guided breathing, dimmer lights
- No: surprise touches, phone in bed, joking mid-moment
Me: “I need slow starts. Like five minutes. I get in my head.”
Him: “Got it. Timer in my head, not on the stove.”
We laughed. But we kept it. And it worked. We’re even toying with the idea of adding mood-setting sex candles next time.
Scene 3: Repair talk after a miss (the part no one likes)
I felt rushed one night. Old me would have shut down. New us? We did a tiny huddle.
Me: “I felt a bit rushed. I froze.”
Him: “Thank you for saying it. Want a redo this weekend? Slower?”
Me: “Yes. And more eye contact. I need that.”
He nodded, and rubbed my hand. Not sexy. But safe. The next time was better. Not perfect. Better.
Scene 4: The “turn-ons that aren’t about sex” card
Card prompt: “Name three turn-ons that aren’t about sex.”
Me: “Clean kitchen. Real dates. You brag about me in front of friends.”
Him: “You laugh at my bad jokes. You wear my sweatshirt. You start the playlist.”
These sound small. They aren’t small. When we want to shake up the physical side later, I’ve bookmarked this playful sex-position generator as a low-pressure prompt.
What I loved
- It made consent easy. The Yes/Maybe/No list cuts the guesswork.
- We learned our rhythms. Turns out I’m a morning person, and he is not. Sunday brunch > late night.
- The game felt like training wheels. Gentle, but focused. No mushy, three-hour talks.
- We had more small wins. More kisses. More inside jokes. Less “do you even get me?” fog.
What bugged me
- Some cards felt heavy. We skipped two. That’s fine, but it broke the flow a bit.
- The book repeats a few points. Helpful for new folks, a tad slow for me.
- Time creep. If we let it run long, we got tired and grumpy.
- Price is… not tiny. We did use it a lot, though.
Who this is for
- Couples who want better talk and better touch, without TMI.
- Folks who like structure, but not rules.
- Busy pairs who need a “start here” script.
Not for: people who want step-by-step spice guides. This is more “talk well first.” Less “do this move.” If that’s you, a structured fantasy like the CEO role-play date night might scratch the itch.
Flying solo right now but craving some low-stakes, real-time flirting practice? Check out this guide to the best free chat line to meet girls on for a breakdown of the liveliest numbers to dial, safety pointers, and conversation starters that can boost your confidence before you head back into the dating-app or in-person scene.
For couples ready to sprinkle in some playful, sensory visuals, a quick scroll through WetLook Sex can serve up soft-core, water-based inspiration without derailing the consent-first vibe.
Quick tips we learned the hard way
- Set a hard stop time. It keeps things warm, not heavy.
- Pick a safe word like “pause.” Use it for any reason. No drama.
- Praise out loud. “I loved when you asked first.” That feedback sticks.
- Keep pens on the table. Write down wins. We forget happy stuff fast.
- Celebrate the tiny. A good question can be a good night.
Results after 4 weeks
- Fewer mixed signals.
- Less pressure on “the moment.”
- More feelings of “seen and chosen.” That one mattered most to me.
We didn’t fix every weird habit. We did build a kinder rhythm.
And if your curiosity eventually stretches beyond the living room, here’s an honest account of a night at a Seattle sex club and another on checking out a Portland sex-positive club to show how consent-first groundwork scales in more adventurous spaces.
For Midwestern readers craving a more intimate, professional encounter with someone who understands the nuances of gender-affirming play, consider browsing this curated list of trans escorts in Youngstown. The page offers an up-to-date roster of vetted companions plus clear etiquette and booking tips so you can explore safely, respectfully, and with confidence.
My bottom line
I’d give this combo 4.5 out of 5. It’s kind, clear, and very usable. It won’t do the work for you—nothing does—but it makes the work feel light. And it made us feel like a team, not test subjects.
If you want a sex-positive start that feels safe, this is it. Keep it simple. Keep it kind. And hey—close the laptop at 8. It’s oddly hot.