I’m Kayla. I’m a wife, a mom, and a church kid who grew up hearing “wait,” but not much about “how.” So I tested a small group plan our church marriage class called “Christian Sex Styles.” It wasn’t weird. It was gentle, faith-forward, and pretty practical. We used it over eight weeks at home. No group sharing. Just us. Thank the Lord.
You know what? It helped. Not perfect. But better.
Quick take
- Faith and fun can sit at the same table.
- Consent and comfort are the rule.
- Some parts felt cheesy. Still worked.
How we tested it
We set a simple plan. One “style” each week. We’d pray for a minute. We’d talk for five. Then we’d try the rhythm for that night. No pressure for sex. Just closeness. If we felt “no,” we said “no.” And that “no” meant stop. Full stop.
We also used two tools:
- A yes/no/maybe list from a Christian marriage blog (we built ours with the Yes, No, Maybe printable)
- A small bottle of Good Clean Love gel for dryness
Small things, big help. Reading a brief reflection on why having “the list” at all can foster grace rather than guilt was eye-opening for us (here’s the one we liked).
The styles we tried (with real examples)
1) The Tender Sabbath Style
This one was slow. Like slow-slow. We lit one candle. We read two lines from Song of Songs. Nothing long. Then we held hands and breathed in sync. We put a hand on each other’s chest to feel the heartbeat. We spoke one kind word each. Then we cuddled under a heavy blanket.
That night, we were close. No rush. No pressure. I felt safe in my body. He felt seen, not graded. That matters.
2) The Playful Style
We needed a laugh. So we tried a silly plan. I stuck a note on the mirror that said, “You, me, giggles, 9 p.m.” He wore those awful socks I hate, just to tease. We set ground rules. No tickling feet. No surprises. We used a safe word. “Pineapple.” We kept kisses light and fun. We used a tiny bit of massage oil on shoulders and hands. It felt sweet, not sneaky.
We did end up close. But the big win was joy. I forgot to be tense.
3) The Plan-and-Pillow Style
This one was for my back. We put two pillows under my hips and one under my knees. I told him where it hurt and where it didn’t. He adjusted. We laughed because we looked like a tent. The angle helped a lot. Pain dropped. Pleasure rose. I could relax. He said it was nice to have clear “do this, not that” guidance.
Also, we kept water nearby. Dry mouth is a mood killer. Little detail, big payoff.
4) The Quick Reconnect
Kids down. Dishes done. We had 15 minutes. We called it a “10-minute reset.” We hugged (bear-hug style). We kissed. We matched breaths for 30 seconds. Then we asked two questions: “Do you want sex tonight?” and “If not, what closeness feels good?” That night, we chose a warm cuddle and a back rub. No sex. We still felt close. No guilt. And the next night? We both wanted more.
Funny how less pressure brings more desire.
5) The After-Fight Repair
We had a dumb fight about money. Voices rose. Tears came. Later, we sat on the floor. We said sorry. We prayed two sentences. We touched foreheads. We chose to be near, but not sexual. That was right for that night. Two evenings later, we moved slow again. It felt like trust grew back, inch by inch. Not a magic fix. Just kindness.
6) The Quiet Adventure
No props. Just a new spot in our own home. We laid a blanket on the living room floor. Door locked. Lights low. No TV. We whispered. We tried a new rhythm, then paused to check in. “Still good?” “Still good.” We laughed when the cat walked in. We shooed him out. It felt new, but safe.
Simple. And kind of fun.
What I loved
- Faith wasn’t used as pressure. It was comfort.
- Consent was constant. “Yes” meant yes. “No” was honored.
- Pain-free ideas. The pillows changed the game.
- Joy came back. We smiled more.
- We spoke needs out loud. No mind-reading.
What bugged me
- The scripts sounded corny at first. We tweaked the words so it sounded like us.
- Scheduling can feel like a meeting. But if we don’t plan, we skip it.
- Some church books we tried before made me feel shame. This plan didn’t, but I’m still healing from old stuff.
If that’s you too, I liked Sheet Music by Kevin Leman and The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Gregoire. They cut through weird myths and talk consent, care, and science.
Real talk on hard spots
I have dryness sometimes. For a dash of inspiration that still felt respectful, I peeked at Wet Look Sex and bookmarked a couple of playful, water-themed ideas we might try in the tub. Similarly, if you and your spouse learn best by seeing real-time demonstrations instead of just reading about them, this roundup of the top 5 cam sites breaks down performer etiquette, pricing, and safety features so you can browse a reputable platform without getting buried in spammy pop-ups or questionable content. Couples who want to learn how intimacy dynamics can be navigated respectfully when gender identity is part of the equation could even skim the Trans escort Laredo listings—the curated bios there highlight upfront talk about limits, comfort items, and consent signals that translate well into married-life communication. Lube helped without weird smells. Also, my hips get sore. Pillows. My husband needs clear requests, not hints. So I say, “slower,” “softer,” or “pause.” He doesn’t read minds. He reads words. Fair. And if you’ve ever wondered whether anal sex crosses a moral line, this honest deep-dive offers some clarity without the shame.
And sometimes we try and one of us isn’t in it. We stop. We hug. We pick another night. No one owes their body. Ever.
Who it’s for
- Married couples who want heart and heat, not guilt
- Folks who want clear steps and gentle faith
- People with pain or anxiety who need slow plans
Maybe not for:
- Couples who want wild tricks or shock value
- Anyone looking for shame or rules with no grace
Little tips that helped us
- Start with one minute of prayer. Keep it simple.
- Agree on a safe word. Use it. Respect it.
- Keep water and lube handy. Comfort is holy.
- Try new places at home, not risky places.
- Leave room for “no” without pouty faces.
- Text a flirty line at lunch. Build the spark early.
My verdict
4.5 out of 5. Not perfect. But kind. It brought peace, fun, and better body care. We still miss nights. We still learn. But now we have a map and we hold it together.
If you try it, be gentle with each other. Start small. Laugh often. Pray short. Check in tomorrow. That mix—faith, consent, care—felt like love, not a task.
And honestly? That’s what I wanted all along.
—Kayla